after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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