Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
BRING THE BAGELS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
