would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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