I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
