I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
