Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
