my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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