How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
