And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
