i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
