If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
