We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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