i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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