i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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