i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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