if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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