based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
