There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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