your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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