sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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