i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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