she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think people are normalizing furries
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