she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
