if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Randomize
