cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
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The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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