I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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