READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Too much gin, very little bucket
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
