Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
look no pants
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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