she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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