Joe is yelling at the trees again.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
