the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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