i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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