I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
bring money and cleavage
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize