If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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