Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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