is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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