Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
