bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
