i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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