he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
