ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
