Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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