Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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