At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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