his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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