That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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