I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize