i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
