I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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