weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
