i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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