youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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