My first STD was from a foam party
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
