Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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