I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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