I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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