Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
