marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize