I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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