"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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