dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize