i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
