Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
